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Alchemical Hermaphrodite by PiuPiu-Littlebird

Words cannot express the creativity that was this piece was drawn from. The characters themselves allow the viewers to feel the stark c...

Bonsai Rock, Lake Tahoe by sergey1984

Overall this is a gorgeous photo that is well-balanced in both light and shadows. The crispness of the photo allows the viewer to feel ...

Journal History



Flicher's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
It was wonderful to meet you in this short moment of your life.
I am engaged to a wonderful man who gives me the love and support I need.
My hobbies include sleeping, school, and eating.

Cat's Eyes Stamp by TwilightProwler
 TAGGED by - :iconmerrimus:


1. Write down each letter of your name.
2. Write down the song that pops up in your mind beginning with each letter.
3. Count the number of letters and tag that many people in your friends list.


G - 
A - 
T - 
E - 
S - 


:icontengu-arts: :iconbonnieknox: :iconpaperchills: :icondeathwatch116: :iconhka-4m7:
:iconjess2lucky: :iconragnorokk: :iconanvirgin: :iconzeezeepearl:

To do it or not to do it. 
  • Mood: Tired
  • Listening to: Subfocus
  • Reading: Textbooks
  • Watching: The Devil is a Part-Timer
  • Playing: Bioshock Infinite
  • Eating: Kettle Corn
  • Drinking: A lot.


I am not much of one to write in my journal. No one checks it very often anyway. I have prided myself through my short life in being honest/blunt even when it matters little. You see when I was little I was ignored. Right not uncommon? Everyone was looked down upon at some point in their life. I remember a particular event when someone destroyed my rock collection on the playground. I had made a secret hide away for all of the quartz crystal and other interesting gravel I would find on the playground. Someone was so kind as to purposefully knock all my rocks out of the hole and then scatter them all over the playground. I remember the feeling clearly as someone kicking me in the chest. I had spent most of the school year making it. 
After being treated like a second class citizen you decide that you just can't take it anymore. You have to speak up. Your opinions matter and it is a shocking experience to find out that people don't like it when you do. It took years before I found my voice after being the "'quiet' one for years. Then in middle school I decided to speak up and found myself friendless and bullied. Yay! Makes you really want to be loud and meet new people! Fuck it.Then I moved away, by luck my fathers job was moving by the end of that year so there was a light at the end of the tunnel in regards to the bullying and segregation. At my new school no one ever said my real name, "that is so and so's cousin" "hi, so and so's cousin"  Then I remained quiet for three more years. Everything was great. People thought I was nice and sweet or I was a ghost or something. Being a ghost had always been a dream, second to be a ninja. But I knew it was as close as I could get. Senior year of high school rolls around I meet a bunch of people. Things are looking up. Then I find out it was all just a dream, because many (not all) were putting on a front. As all people do in high school. An in the end I found out that I could not handle a lot of people and friendships at a time. Too many people and I short circuit. I feel bad for anyone who tries to be friends with me, because it is a drawback. We will never be incredibly close. I will eventually break and leave you. Low self esteem had always been a problem. Not so much now that I am in my twenties and have a less than sane head on my shoulders. To a lot of people I am 'crazy' 'different' and 'unfriendly.' Truth is I just have seasonal affective disorder which for me it is depression in the winter. Not getting enough sunlight is a major problem. There is a neurotic and obsessive personality disorder in there as well, but I have not been formally diagnosed with anything besides mild depression consistently. What is normal? I often wonder what it would have been like to grow up well liked. Would I be more well adjusted? Would life be any harder? When I am sad my instructor looks as me and says "We need to call your counselor if you are feeling this way..." It is not "Oh it perfectly normal to feel this way. Nursing school is hard. You can handle it." Telling anyone anything takes a lot of trust anymore. There are days I cannot forgive myself for the way I have treated people. There is nothing you can do to take it back either. You just move on and remember. Ever since I had gotten a blood clot life had been going down hill. This semester I can finally feel the life at the end of the tunnel. I meant to type it that way, because right now I feel like an indentured servant to nursing school. Nursing school and I have a love/hate relationship. I am lucky I have two people who love me for who I am and my family. There is a lot going on in my life...or maybe it is a figment of my imagination. But I have learned sorry does not cut it. An I am so loyal to the people who treat me right it hurts. So when someone hurts them I almost become an uncontrollable attack dog. That is no excuse I know, but it is one of my tendencies. I hate the aftermath. You end up hating yourself after it even if you know it was right. Its been a struggle to control it, people end up hating me for it. I deserve it though. You move on from it and say never again. 
  • Mood: Tired
  • Listening to: Subfocus
  • Reading: Textbooks
  • Watching: The Devil is a Part-Timer
  • Playing: Bioshock Infinite
  • Eating: Kettle Corn
  • Drinking: A lot.
I hope that everyone that hates me
has a purpose
because I live in a world
where most people could care less
about what is imperfect
I hope that everyone who knows me
knows who I am and what I represent
whether it be nothing in their eyes
or only a person with malicious intent
I hope you find it in your hearts
to forgive when I will know
you will never forget 
I hope you see what you wanted
and got what you needed
because I have nothing more to give
I despise all the little wretches
who believe they are always right
I hate the overwhelming feeling
of steam burning from my ears
The frustration as it burrows 
a painful hole in my flesh of a heart
I am cut to pieces when people make
me feel as if I am the crazy one
this is a godforsaken world
of dreamers and cheats
who will lie to make anything real
and reel in their sorrow when it 
turns out is was just a nightmare 
I hope in the many helps they wake
up with their fingers and eyes burning
knowing this is reality. 

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Add a Comment:
SinistrosePhosphate Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist

Thank you very much for adding my work to your list of favourites. I appreciate the gesture very much! 

Sincere thanks,
Atis1 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fave
Amabilior Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2014
Happy Birthday!!!!!! (And Merry Christmas :D)
Flicher Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much! A late Merry Christmas to you!
Amabilior Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2014
Reservated Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2014
Thank you very much for the favorite!  :)
EbolaBearVomit Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014
Little Cat II by luisbc
Flicher Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for kitty. 
AnVirgin Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
O hai thare
Flicher Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
How have you been?
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